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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27195835">S'Mores Are Better With Two</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/seterasilence/pseuds/seterasilence'>seterasilence</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Good Omens (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/F, Found Child, Ineffable Idiots (Good Omens), Ineffable Wives Gift Exchange 2020, Ineffable Wives | Female Aziraphale/Female Crowley (Good Omens), Lost Child, National Forest Service Ranger, So Soft My Teeth Hurt, park ranger, soft</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 16:49:30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,063</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27195835</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/seterasilence/pseuds/seterasilence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Aziraphale is absolutely over her assignment with the Forest Service until a lost boy sends her on a search where she discovers there are more than bears among the trees...</p>
<p>Written for the Ineffable Wives Gift Exchange 2020 for @poorlyformed based on the prompt "Aziraphale is a park ranger who discovers a hidden cave one day with a naga inside."</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>35</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Ineffable Wives Exchange 2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>S'Mores Are Better With Two</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/cathybites/gifts">poorlyformed (cathybites)</a>.</li>



    </ul></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When Aziraphale heard the news that a small child had gotten lost in the National Forest during the Halloween Trick or Scare for Kids event, she let out a beleaguered sigh and put her ranger hat on her head.</p>
<p>It was the 1980s and her world was full of cassette tapes, rock ballads, and teased hair that did a number on her curls. It also included being halfway across the world from her snug bookshop. It had been two months that she’d been forced to wear this horrendous Forest Service green and boots with tread that could get through any kind of terrain. Each day that passed, her resentment towards Gabriel grew. Sometimes, when she lay on a creaking bed in a log cabin, furiously trying to figure out how a ‘book light’ was any kind of comfortable source for reading, she thought he’d done all of this to spite her for losing track of holy water in the 1960s. He’d told her she needed to be out here to protect the rangers from wild fires and bear attacks—humans were getting increasingly stupider as time went on—but it had been a wet summer and an even colder autumn without a blaze in sight. Aziraphale was sick of rustic cabins. She was sick of bright campfires and smelling like smoke. She was even tired of eating roasted marshmallows sandwiched in between graham crackers and chocolates. That’s how bad it was.</p>
<p>And now, a human child had gone missing.</p>
<p>“He’ll be wearing a pumpkin suit,” the young mother tearfully told Aziraphale as her sobs smeared her vivid blue eyeshadow across the side of her face. Her hair smelled overwhelmingly like spray.  “We turned around for a minute and then he was just <em>gone.”</em></p>
<p>Aziraphale hummed in sympathy as angels are supposed to do. People got lost all the times in these woods. Aziraphale didn’t quite understand the desire for humans to move back out into nature, not when they’d spent so long trying to eradicate most of it, but then and again, there were a lot of things she simply took at face value. Not much wildness existed anymore, not with the humans moving and expanding the way they had, so she still didn’t quite understand why when you could be home cozied up on a rainy day with blankets and a good book one would choose to be out here in the cold and wet living like you hadn’t had thousands of years to evolve and get out of that. Whatever the reasoning, she grabbed a flashlight like humans are supposed to do and did her best thespian impression of nyctophobia by exclaiming, “But I’m so scared of the dark!” before plunging into the depths. Picnic benches were full of candy corn and tootsie rolls. Fake cobwebs clogged the trees, rudely taking up space where the gossamer threads of real webs should be spun. A squirrel bounded up a tree before realizing she meant it no harm.</p>
<p>It should be noted that Aziraphale <em>did</em> like the golden shield of her badge. She polished off the sap that had gotten stuck to it as she walked past the signs for well-groomed trails and took the one less followed. The fresh air was nice, but the overcast clouds threatening rain were not. Once more, she mourned for her bookshop across the pond, where she could be right now instead of trampling through the undergrowth, but needs must. So far, she’d warded fire safehouses in July from a sparse bout of licking flames, saved a young volunteer ranger from a terrible snake bite (Aziraphale had experience with hissing serpents, only the kinds she hung out with liked to take chunks of her heart), and even helped an older gruff gentleman recover from an ankle injury with a weary wave of the hand. Her co-workers said she had a knack for the job. Her smile never faltered. They hoped she’d never leave.</p>
<p>Well. A nice compliment, but if Gabriel didn’t dispatch her back to England soon, she’d have to do it herself. Smokey the Bear could take over her duties from here.</p>
<p>As she walked, she picked up aluminum cans scattered along the trail. A series off fire rings had been built between open meadows of lush yellowing greenery and wild autumnal daisies. The calls for the lost boy echoed around her and she headed in the opposite direction, grateful when the desperate calls weakened until she was entirely alone.</p>
<p>Aziraphale felt ashamed. She should be helping the family instead of pouting about her circumstances. But if she was all the way out here in the backwoods of North America, how was she to know if a certain serpent slithered by the shop to see if she was open for a rock opera and bottle of wine? How was she to know if said serpent hadn’t slipped with that disjointed spine of hers and accidentally spilled holy water all over herself? Crowley was a bit reckless when it came to bone structure and how many ribs she could have at one time. It left for a very unstable corporation. Aziraphale would know. She’s studied that slender from for thousands of years.</p>
<p>How exactly was Aziraphale to know if that demon was out there taking the necessary precautions without an angel to watch over her shoulder?</p>
<p>This train of thought always left Aziraphale in a state. Sloughing off her mortal form with a sign of relief, she pouted as a mass of chaos underneath the pines. The clouds above continued to darken. A far-off flash of lighting followed by thunder rattled the sky. Aziraphale’s huffs sounded like bells when a whoosh of air blasted by her and the rain pounded down, making her blink her endless eyes up in irritation. “Oh bother,” she said. Stuffing herself back inside her corporation was never pleasant, especially when she was in mid-sulk.</p>
<p>Her wings extended and she flew towards the side of the mountain, diving into a cave opening in the side. Hopefully any wildlife was sound asleep in hibernation, which gave her another round of fits when she thought of a scaled creature who hibernated at the most inconvenient times and never told anyone ever when she was going to.</p>
<p>The smell of dark earth and stale rock surrounded her. The thunder roared once more and Aziraphale let her dimensional voice ring along with it, getting out some of her frustration. The second peal had her moping, but her ears perked when at the end of it, when a low hissing sound filled the empty silence. In the back of the cave.</p>
<p>Frowning, Aziraphale stood and tucked her wings away. The hiss came out again and this time it sounded distinctly like a snore. “Crowley?” she called out, her hopeful heart rattling against her rib cage. Silence.</p>
<p>Picking her way towards the back of the cave, she illuminated a piece of divinity on her finger. The cave was much larger than she’d thought. Pieces of the ground had been cleared as if with a long tail had swept through. Moss-covered boulders sat on the sides and upon a closer look, Aziraphale saw that tiny bones littered the ground as well. Rats. Voles. Birds. Even eggshells.</p>
<p>The hissing snore became louder.</p>
<p>Soon, she rounded past two large boulders and saw a line of familiar looping curves. Black scales. Bright red accents. Her heart was its own thunder. The tentacled mass of her inner being chimed with pleasure at the sight. She pushed against her skin, wishing she could break free of the flesh and let out her inner chaos. Aziraphale reached out and touched the scales. The curve twitched and idly moved aside, exposing the rest of the serpent.</p>
<p>It had been Aziraphale’s reoccurring nightmare that she might go back home and find that she now lived in a world without an adversary. What a tedious world that would be. Now she saw that Crowley had indeed hibernated. As Aziraphale approached she saw that the demon was fast asleep. Her bottom half looped around and dragged the angel closer, closing up the space Aziraphale had come from. Her top half made Aziraphale sigh in relief at the familiar visage: her mouth a bit wider to accommodate extra teeth, her eyes almond shaped and shut, her thin lips opened slightly. Her long hair curled around her like a blanket. Scales plated down her breasts and chest like armor, but cradled in her arms was a small round pumpkin.</p>
<p>The boy. Aziraphale’s smile was overly fond as she edged closer to the sleeping duo. Always coming to the rescue, wasn’t she? Aziraphale’s hands clutched together, fighting their desire to let her hands stroke divine starlight through Crowley’s fine locks. She gave in and hovered over the fringes, letting the choke hold that she usually kept on her ethereal nature to relax. Crowley’s face darkened for a moment as if in a sudden pain before one yellow-slitted eye opened and peered at her.</p>
<p>“Hello, my dear,” Aziraphale said, hoping she didn’t sound as breathless as she felt. The divinity in the room strengthened.</p>
<p>“Too bright,” Crowley murmured and the yellow eye slid shut. Aziraphale swallowed hard and tightened the choke hold on herself again, dimming the cave back to its usual dank darkness.</p>
<p>“What are you doing here?” Crowley yawned, blinking again in the absence of Aziraphale’s presence, and holding the child closer. The child was still deep asleep, his green-stemmed hat slipping down to become his pillow.</p>
<p>“You’ve done me quite the favor without knowing it, it seems,” Aziraphale said and inclined her chin to the child. “Missing, unfortunately. Parents are in quite the state.”</p>
<p>Crowley peered down at the tiny human. “This one? Wandering the trees calling for his mum. Thought he would play hide and seek, I suppose. With who, I have no idea.”</p>
<p>“Did you indulge him?”</p>
<p>Crowley looked abashed. “Might of.”</p>
<p>“And now you’re here, half...” she trailed off and looked at the tail coiling around her.</p>
<p>“Halloween, isn’t it? Night before All Souls. Why put on a disguise while I can be this?” She gazed at Aziraphale as though daring her to object. “Although, Aziraphale, that green does bring out your eyes.”</p>
<p>“Oh,” Aziraphale said, deciding to ignore that she was being gently teased. “Thank you. I’m not too pleased with the high waisted belts, they do my figure no favors, but one does what one must.”</p>
<p>“Why are you out here, angel? Doing good by finding lost children? Gabriel sent you all the way out here for that?”</p>
<p>“If you must know, I was placed here on assignment To watch over the forest wardens in case of wildfire.”</p>
<p>“And instead you’re babysitting,” Crowley mused.</p>
<p>“Oh, I think you’re doing that quite well on your own, dear,” Aziraphale said. “I should leave you to it.”</p>
<p>Crowley tightened her arms around the child and shifted to sit up. Aziraphale made a protesting noise and snapped her fingers. The child disappeared and Aziraphale made sure the young boy would wake up in a log cabin, safe and warm, and that his mother would have the strongest inclination to head back to main camp. A mother’s instincts, she’d say proudly for years to come.</p>
<p>Crowley grunted and shifted, sitting up further. She swayed as sluggish and Aziraphale frowned, knowing from experience that a cave was no place for large serpents, especially not in late fall. “Too cold, I take it?” she asked and hoped her voice sounded light.</p>
<p>“Might’ve fallen asleep. Ten years ago.” Crowley’s cheeks flared red.</p>
<p>“And in this damp?” Aziraphale tsked.</p>
<p>“I was sowing discord,” Crowley protested. “Bringing myths and legends to life. Scaring the tourists.”</p>
<p>“You already did that with Loch Ness,” Aziraphale pointed out.</p>
<p>“It’s a big world. Someone has to terrorize it.”</p>
<p>Aziraphale bit her lip. “How about we go back to my cabin,” she said. “I can make a fire, you know. I can introduce you to something called a s’more.”</p>
<p>“Sounds dreadful.”</p>
<p>“You’ll love it,” Aziraphale said, holding out her hand and feeling a warm tingle shake through her when Crowley tentatively entwined her claws with Aziraphale's fingers. As she described how to get the perfect golden crust on the puffed sugar, she thought how camping might not be that bad, now that she’d found the right sort of company for it.</p>
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